Why I write...

If I can inspire a woman to empower herself, I've done my job as a writer. I do not have all the answers and each day provides for me teachable moments. But I do know this: to love oneself deeply, to honor oneself as sacred, is a courageous act.

The beautiful letter below is from a California woman. I am not going to post her name out of respect for her privacy. But I wanted to share. Her note moved me to tears. I am filled with joy that my book and my words inspired and uplifted her.

Hola Sandra,

This is (name deleted) from in Los Angeles. I'm writing to you today to let you know how your book has inspired me and changed my life. 

I have been in a 21-year, unhappy marriage filled with verbal fights and a lot of loneliness. No soy una santa tampoco, but it takes two to tango. It's been unhappy for over 10 years and I didn't really know what to do. Or maybe I just didn't have the courage to do something about it. After reading your book and doing lots and lots of soul searching, I finally got the courage to speak with my husband and we both agreed that a separation is best. I thank God for my beautiful family that supports me in EVERY way, and the awesome sisters that I have who have been the greatest supporters in my decision and continue to encourage me to move forward.

I thank you for inspiring me through your lectures and your books. I feel that this is a new chance to a happy and balanced life for me and my 14 yr old son. I will continue to grow and be a positive role model for my son, family and my community.
Muchos besos, 

Words are powerful, they can be used as weapons of mass destruction, or they can help heal. 
I choose love. I choose to use words to create not destroy.

This is why I write. 

Thank you California braveheart for sharing your story. May those who are still in darkness find the  strength to walk toward the light. Know that you are not alone.


  1. Sandra,
    I'm a 28, soon to be 29, Boricua born and raised in New Jersey. I have recently started reading your book and am wowed. I have only reached chpt. 2, but the first chapter almost had me in tears. I swear that it was written about MY relationship with MY mother. She is a wonderful woman who lives for her children. She's worked hard and along with my father have tried their best to provide me with the best they could. However, once I hit puberty the tension between us has grown. I consider myself a good hija and am an example of living my life to make THEM happy, not myself. I graduated with honors, both B.A and M.A., have a great job, and have lived on my own since I turned 23. Yet, like you wrote, "Nothing I ever did, except for excelling in school, was good enough." I plan on using the format of the letter you wrote, from hija para madre, to somehow connect with my mother. We've recently had a falling out because of my decision to move in with my bf. Her concern was not "lo que diran" but her fear of me losing my independence. I believe that letter along with what I have learned from that chapter will help heal the relationship and allow it to grow.

    I know I'm just in the beginning of the book, but I look forward to ask questions and voice my concerns as I continue reading. I also look forward to sharing what I've learn with those around me.

    Thank you for creating something that lets us know that we weren't and aren't alone in the circumstances and situations that we have faced and will continue to encounter as the new Latina generation.

    I thank you for the reason that you write.

    Jersey City, NJ