Healing your wounds may mean you don't bandage them...

Children can teach us so much if we really, really listen. A young child who is cut will scream harder if the cut is bleeding. In their young mind, they believe that all their guts will pour out of the wound it it's not covered up and quickly! A bandage, to their thinking, will prevent hemorrhaging--death even! The smallest of cuts, no matter how tiny, needs to be patched up then kissed for good measure. Besides a lot of loving patience and humor, I learned that new parents will need lots of band aids on hand to survive the young years.

But, do we really outgrow this instinct to cover our wounds? I'm talking about emotional wounds of course. Just like most physical wounds need to be aired out to heal, so do many of our emotional cuts, inflicted in places where we do not necessarily bleed, but for sure feel.

As we age we're still like little kids preferring to patch things up, sweep under the rug, hide in the closet these wounds that deeply hurt and scare us. We figure later, maybe, we can deal with them. Many times we pretend that they are not even there. You see, to face our wounds-- to air them out -- is to have to deal with them and be vulnerable and who wants that? I don't. Who wants to walk around all open and naked. I don't.

But, truth is, we could sweep our wounds under a rug, in the closet, or cover them up with all that the material worlds offers-- high fashion, fabulous digs, gorg new cars, hot husband, hot wife, hot body, hot profession, beautiful jewels-- but these wounds that are concealed have a way of annoyingly not healing, but festering and creeping up. They will eventually surface. One day we are coasting, seemingly living happy lives, then bam!-- something triggers that smack us back to that place where it really huts. These triggers can be anything -- death, a new job, birthdays, anniversaries, menopause, graduations, births, falling in love, heartbreak, a song, a film, a book, a perfume, a bank teller's nasty attitude--anything has the potential to take us there, to that place where we know the check will be cashed and we will have to figure out how much emotional courage we have to pay the debt.

The more I know the more I don't know, true. But, the more I know the more I see that allowing myself to be vulnerable in places where I am most uncomfortable is weirdly the recipe for my growth. Healing deep wounds is freaking hard. Harder than learning a new language. Harder than the SAT. Harder than hot yoga. Harder than giving birth, and I did it twice, without drugs!

Rumi's gorgeous words serve as a reminder of the beauty that lies in the space on the other side: Don't turn away, keep your gaze on the bandaged place. The wound is where the light enters you.

The wound is there the light enters you...

To be vulnerable does not mean that you become a doormat. It means that you connect to the source that brings you pain and sit with it. Understand it. And you don't let it have power over you. You let light in...

Emotional wounds come in all sizes-- fear of rejection, abandonment, success, etc. For someone who has abandonment issues with a parent for example, falling in love, sweet good, healthy love, can mysteriously be taken to a place of deep fear and the new object of love is rejected, even, sadly, mistreated. The fear of being left and hurt again, is a better choice than to have faith in good love. This person will sabotage that love. Or, a person who doesn't believe that they deserve success, will self sabotage in tiny ways when she finally gets a great opportunity. Show up late, if she shows up. The examples are many. You fill in the blank...

So, sit with your wound. Air it out, even a little bit. I always recommend to have someone-- a good friend, a trusted religious leader, minister, priest, healer, therapist-- to process your emotions because I don' think it's easy to do so by yourself.  The light will heal. It really will.


  1. I truly enjoy reading your posts. It's very difficult to find great inspirational articles these days. Even with the abundance of articles out there! These are articles make me put a lot of things about my life into perspective and I always feels motivated after reading one. I hope you continue to write these posts for many more years to come.. Love them ! <3