Surrendering to what is does not mean you give up

I made it to the top of this volcano, El Teipe in the Canary Islands, one step at a time

Iyanla Vanzant said it best: You do not tell people how to love you. You can, however, choose if you will participate in the way they love!

There is a mistaken notion that accepting people for what they are and life for what it is means that you give up and throw your arms in the air and exclaim, "It is what it is." Quite the opposite--accepting life and people for what they are is surrendering to the fact that you cannot change people and situations. It does however mean that you have control to take action for yourself. Let me explain.

It is a fact, you cannot change other people, how they act, how they treat you, how they love you, but you can change participating in that space. It doesn't just go for people, it goes for everything!

If you are presently unhappy with a job, a relationship, your health or weight for example, it is no one's business but yours to make changes. You cannot blame anyone for your situation. You must do something about it.

Try this:

Talk to yourself:
Whatever your frustration contemplate on the root of it--you must first have a conversation with self about the root of the issue. What is making you so unhappy? As they say, your worst enemy is your best teacher. Someone irritating you? Why is a good starter question.

Decide to act

Small movements will start you moving. Tiny steps lead to great places. You know the saying well, the pyramids were not built in a day, neither is this life you want. Work every day to move toward a better place. It starts with a commitment to make a change. Even if its small, walking for three blocks if getting fit is your goal or incorporating one vegetable to lunch or dinner if its better eating you want. Having a conversation with a loved one about his attitude if its a loved one who is bugging you or move away from that person. Try remembering what Iyanla says: you get to participate whether or not you will be loved that way. 

Visualize this life
What does it look like? See yourself there, live it. Enjoy it. Believe that you are there. Believe you deserve it. You know that mountain is really a volcano, and I drove to the base, then I took a tram then I walked up. It was one step at a time that took me, but at the base, I visualized being there, on top!

Stay positive 
Start your day with positive energy. I am happy. I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am at peace. I will have a  wonderful day filled with laughter, peace and joy. Saying out loud how you want your day to be is your responsibility. Write the script for the day.

Don't give up
Set backs happen because they help us rejigger the plan and that's cool. And because we can't control the details! So when things don't move as quickly as you would like, trust that they are moving.

Let go
This is the part where you release your hard work and accept that you will be fine. This is the most difficult part--for control freaks which is most of us-- let the Universe take care of the details. Know this: the universe has your back. It's something I have written many times and it's worth repeating: the universe has your back! Believe it.

Step into your greatness each moment by never giving up on your dream life. 
Make it happen for yourself! Having a healthy, joyous life, filled with beauty, bounty, love, and peace is your birthright. Believe it. No one will create a life you love--you have to go get it!
What are you waiting for?