Don't fear your shadows, embrace them
It was Carl Jung who mainstreamed the idea of the shadow, the dark parts of our lives that exist in all of us, but few acknowledge. Even Mother Theresa had shadows. I never met her but I can guarantee that she was not an angel. What I suspect is that she chose to feed the more angelic parts of her multidimensional existence. And what we got was a gift of a human being.
This is the thing, human beings are all complicatedly delicious. It does you no good to suppress parts of you that are not so cool, that you don't like, that may not be civil. Try not to push the shadows down or deny them -- because they will resurface.
Befriend those parts of you that give you shame, fear and confusion. Work with your shadows. Understand them. Give yourself a break and stop judging your sometimes contradictory ways.
Ultimately, this is how you learn to live more free.