It's often in the minute and ordinary details of life when our true self comes out. Did we hold the door open for others? Did we greet the grocery clerk with a smile? Did we wake up and face the day with positive energy? Did we throw shade at a frenemy? Did we make breakfast with love? Were we late (again) to meet our girlfriend? Do we show up happy?
Many years ago, one of my best friends had a quiet talk with me. She pointed out that I arrived late to most of our meetings. She felt that I did not respect her time or our friendship since I kept her waiting. Immediately, I went into defense mode. I had a million excuses, and mostly they had to do my job--I worked in a newsroom. In the middle of delivering my defense I heard myself and I sounded quite pathetic. I stopped defending and apologized. I recognized that being 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes late hurt her. I was not being mindful of her time. I pledged to be better. And I was.
Is anyone in your life trying to tell you something? Listen up!
Though a person's soul reveals itself in everyday ordinary activities the fascinating thing is that this soulful self is not static, it is forever evolving. Who you are today is not necessarily who will be tomorrow. If you consciously choose, you can evolve. Fight as you may, your soul is continuously pushing you forward. But, it takes a conscious effort, commitment, attention, and mindfulness to keep growing.
Who you are today is not set in stone
What I loved about the exchange with my friend what the way it was delivered. There was no accusatory tone. My friend handled the situation with love, compassion, and elegance. She didn't admonish, she just put it out there gently. Our bond became more intimate. Not everyone will deliver news about patterns and behaviors that are not that cool in the way my friend did but however they deliver, try to shoo away the noise and listen to the message.
As scary as it is to give up on behaviors or beliefs that make us feel safe, if they are based on a false notion of who we are, once you let go what you get in return is often a more glorious experience. Seize the small moments or comments that come your way as gift and an opportunity to grow or help someone grow and move forward.