"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence you have won even before you started." - Marcus Garvey
No once can give you self confidence, you have to feel and get it yourself. However, the great news coming from social psychologists (and my momma) is that there is one practice that if done often, can help you get it. It's all about how you stand!
For women especially, it takes time to feel fully confident in mind, body and spirit. There is nothing more amazing than knowing what you want and asking for what you need. Being bold and audacious takes time because so much is chipping away at our self esteem. However, while this confident moment arrives, there are two powerful things to consider: you can fake it till you feel it and you have to learn the power pose.
Posture: Body language articulates much more than words. And body language is key not only because it's how others perceive you (read: judge you) but according to Amy Cuddy, how you stand also changes how you see yourself. Cuddy's Ted talk is illuminating. If you want success, you must learn the power posture. (Think Superwoman.) Cuddy has found that this posture changes your body chemistry affecting cortisol and testosterone levels. It can even determine whether or not you succeed. Seriously!
In the same talk, Cuddy, a social psychologist, reveals how studies have shown that even when you don't feel confident, if you stand in the power pose, you can trick your brain into feeling confident. With practice one day you become self assured.
Next time you are going into a tough meeting and feeling a little insecure, she suggests to try the posture in the bathroom, before you leave your home or in the elevator. Point is to practice it before a mirror and prior to your meeting.
Cuddy says that you can change your destiny, you can change your present, you can change how others perceive you and more importantly, you have the ability to change how you perceive yourself by simply changing your body language.